inbox;

[likeiron]

@ogreslayer

text · voice

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Comments

[likeiron]

I'm not not eating clocks right?

[thecodexabides]

What.

No.

That is not what you are supposed to say.

Do it right this time.

Please.

[likeiron]

??????

What the fuck are you talking about????

I love how they're fighting

[thecodexabides]

what do you mean

'??????'

Have
you
ever
tried
eating
a
CLOCK.

DO IT RIGHT.

[likeiron]

DO WHAT RIGHT YOU FUCKING MORON????

NO

I'VE NEVER TRIED EATING A CLOCK

[thecodexabides]

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!!??

[likeiron]

I'M NOT DOING SHIT TO YOU!!!

What am I supposed to say???

[thecodexabides]

You are SUPPOSED to say
'no
why?'

And then I would say

'good because I hear it is very time consuming'

and then you are supposed to laugh
for some reason


and then we bond.

[likeiron]

Turn on your voice.

voice

[thecodexabides]

[she only does this when she wants to yell at him so he will hold the bird device away from his audio receptor.]

What do you want, Nina. [Other than RUINING HIS LIFE, gosh.]

Also voice

[likeiron]

( there's a long pause. )

Just wanted to make sure it was actually you and not some doppelganger pretending to be you.

Why are you telling jokes?

[thecodexabides]

[Well, there was no way that wasn't humiliating to hear. ]

It is me.

I have been assigned penance.

To bond better with people.

[likeiron]

Penance for what?

You and I bond well enough without jokes.

[thecodexabides]

For.
Everything. [Look, he's screwed up A LOT here.]

The Inquisitor assured me these were 'funny' and you would like them. She gave me a whole book.

[likeiron]

Have you even done anything bad lately?

You can't just... force jokes and tell people to laugh, Gadriel.

[thecodexabides]

One's sins do not expire, Nina.
[Nope they're there forever.]

...Obviously no, I cannot. [At least give him credit for trying?]

[likeiron]

Maybe not, but you can't spend your entire life trying to repent for your 'sins.' Just be better going forward.

I mean they're supposed to be natural. Or if someone doesn't say the right reply, you don't just yell at them.

[thecodexabides]

'Be better' is too vague.

Be better at WHAT. [Please don't say humor especially right now.]

People need to stop being so imprecise.
And to understand jokes.

[likeiron]

Just... better? I don't know. I'd say don't start shit with people, but I do that all the time. I think you've been doing fine. Even you and Finnick seemed to be getting along when you tormented me in the shop.

I understand jokes. Your delivery could use some work.

[thecodexabides]

We were assisting you in something that would make you happy.

[By picking out items you would wear for sex. It's all context. Context matters.]

What was wrong with my delivery?
It was over TEXT. [How can you screw that up?!?]

[likeiron]

And you bonded over making me happy and also embarrassing me.

I couldn't figure out your tone, and also... you would eat a clock, so maybe that was just a bad joke to start with.

Here's one my dad always loved: why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field! ( complete with an upward inflection. Really selling this stupid joke. )

[thecodexabides]

We only wanted to help.

Well. I only wanted to help.

[...but that was why he had liked that joke. Because he could eat a clock. It was FUNNY. what is wrong with you, Nina. ] But I asked if you would. Not me.

[Time to have someone intervene because the joke is already dead, they don't need to keep killing it.]

...I do not understand it.

[likeiron]

...do you even know what a scarecrow is?

[thecodexabides]

Of course I do.
It is some kind of bird. [It has the word 'crow' in it. There is no fooling him. ]

[likeiron]

( the silence is deafening.

Then, she just starts laughing. Like, crying, coughing, wheezing laughing. )